I don’t know exactly how to say this, but, then again, there are only so many ways to slice a pie, you know? Here it is: I am SO not feelin’ the love part of this hate-love relationship I have with running! I missed it (almost) the entire time I was away, and now that I’m back, I just am not feeling it.
Back to my pie-slicing theory: excuses are excuses, whether they come in the form of being dog-tired from one-year old induced midnight wakings (as in several) or not going first thing in the morning (which was always my recipe for success last time) precisely because I am so tired and then ending up with a headache/shoulder ache/back ache/bad attitude that makes me not want to go later in the day. Like I said, any way you slice it, I’m just not feeling the love.
It feels more like work than anything. Like I have to run, instead of I want to run. Which, I do. Want to run, that is. I just don’t want to have to run. It feels like there are too many other things crowding my understanding (and my time!) right now and running is the thing that gets left at the bottom of the barrel (well, running and laundry are keeping each other company down there. . . )
Don’t get me wrong – I am still excited about doing the 8k in a few weeks. And I will be able to do it, I just don’t know how well. I cannot seem to get to running 3 times a week: last week it was only once and not a single time so far this week. I want to run because I want to, not because I have to. And that seems to be part of the battle I am waging with myself right now. As it is, my stubborn streak is winning out (I will not go and you can’t make me!) which is kind of disheartening to the part of me that is willing and wanting to make it work.
Mostly, though, I really am pretty tired lately. I am taking lots of naps. Which, who knows what that’s all about, but whatever. I still never have gotten up to 4 miles, but have big plans next week (yeah, you’ve heard that from me before). So, we’ll see.