Sunday, May 4, 2008

Where I Begin

THIS is where I begin.

A few years ago, when I weighed about 15 pounds LESS than I weigh now, I ran a 5k at the invite of my healthy, fit, slim, former high school track-running best friend. "No biggy," I thought, "we've been hiking Camelback, and I'll do OK."

I started out running UP the Mill Avenue bridge. It sucked, but by the time I made it to Curry, I was just glad I kept running. Curry, however, brought another upward slant of a hill, and I slowed my pace to a walk. And I huffed. And I puffed. And I started running again.

I felt a sharp pain stab across my chest. "This is it!" I thought, "I'm having a heart attack!" and I started looking around for an ambulance or medical team - surely they have those standing by for a 5k!? No such luck. I was spent. My body tired. My will to continue barely in tact. I walked/ran the rest of the way, feeling bruised by my out-of-shapeness, by the fact that my body quit on me. But I finished. I. Nearly. Died. But, I finished.

I haven't ran since. Until yesterday.

Let me just say: I HATE running. It's mind-numbingly boring. It tests my strength and hurts my shins. Besides all that, it reveals things about my character that make me want to run to my room and pull the covers over my head. Things like: I'm weak. I have no endurance. I'm kind of a quitter. I'm also a justifier. Ahhhh. The unpleasant sensation of experience what Joan Didion would call "being driven back on oneself".

But, running has been THE constant form of exercise in my life. It did it in elementary school, junior high, before and during my mission. . . but not much since. Running got lost somewhere in there among the ellipticals at the gym, all the kayaking, the golf playing, the bike riding, the rollerblading. And those only happen in spurts.

So, now, here I am 36 pounds heavier than I was when I got married. And in my quest to "get my body back" and "get fit once and for all" - running is what I turn to, once again. And in so doing, I find it's my fitness touchstone. I have found the Couch to 5k program, and have vowed to do the program and go back to the Mill Avenue 5k and kick its gluteous maximus -instead of the other way around - turn the tables as it were.

I also joined the Fluffbusters - a Biggest Loser challenge over at Fight the Fluffy. As part of which I did something I've never done before: I put this information in writing for the FIRST TIME EVER - Total Body Weight, Waist inches, Hip inches, Forearm inches, Wrist inches - over at Fit Watch, which told me my Body Fat Weight is 45.26 lbs, my Muscle Mass is 125.74 lbs, and my Body Fat Percentage is 26.47%.

So. This is where I begin. See you on the other side!

1 comment:

the MomBabe said...

Good for you!

And I agree. Putting my numbers "out there" for all the world was really scary. But it finally made it real.